Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Jesus: Man of God, or A Man of Miracles?

What are the limits of the mind? Considering all things, is it possible to say that the mind has no limits? I mean, from birth we are immediately taught limitation. If one never knew any boundries, would it be possible that they could do anything? Having been taught limitation, is it possible to get past that and have complete control of you mind? I would like to think so, but saying that is a lot easier than doing it.

When I say control of the mind, I mean more in the aspect of psychic abilities, teleconesis, telepathy, things of that nature. I don't exactly think it's impossible to move something from here to there by thinking it. I think people really do have preminissions. And I would argue that it's possible to read another persons mind. I myself have experienced an acute sense of peoples emotion just by being in the same room as them. I don't need to see their face, only feel the energy around them. I noticed that at a young age. It's not comaprable to some of these other things, but I don think it can be honed. Honing these skills, however, does not prove to be an easy task.

Every time you turn the television or radio you are insantly taking in unecessary information. The job most of us have, and hate, drains us mentally to the point that honing anything is out of the question. I have thought many times about leaving society so that I could escape the daily requirements of it all. I don't know if I could ever actually do it, but it makes for a good day dream. And, if I had to live in seclusion from the world, would it even be woth it? I guess not. If you could learn mastery of your mind that way it wouldn't be right to keep that to yourself.

I am not a very disciplined individual, it takes a lot for me to accomplish anything. I am just now beginning to see the limitations I have put on myself, let alone those that go with just being human. Meditation is really not that easy for me. I am a very analytical person by nature, and have a hard time quieting my mind. I work better when there is someone guiding me in the meditation, giving me something to distract that loud and abnoxious voice. You know, the one that tells you the exact opposite or "reality"?

I once read that we only use about ten percent of our brain. Could you imagine what we could do if we utilized the other 90 percent? I'll tell you what, I would sure like to find out. Though, we may have already seen it in a man they call Jesus. That's some food for thought. If anyone out there stumbles upon any of my writings, please leave a comment. Even if you think I'm nuts or completely disagree with me. You may open my mind to something I never thought of. That's the key to a spiritual life. Believe nothing, learn everything, and accept all. The moment I firmly believe something, is the moment I have shut myself off to other possiblities. Anyway.......I'm starting to ramble. I thank the so few of you for your time.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


One cannot think their way into right living. But one can live their way into right thinking.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Experiencing reality

How does one know if they are listening to the human mind or the higher mind? I think sometimes we just know. You can just feel it. The way I like to describe it's when it's my human mind doing the thinking it's more like a conversation in my head. When it's my higher mind things usually come in quick thoughts, images, or feelings. So I can definitely tell a difference. The hard part is being able to listen to that higher mind more often, I'm sure it's doing a lot more thinking than I realize.

I've been seeing a hypnotherapist for about a month and a half or so, and let me tell you, it's quite an experience. She's an astrologer, hypnotist, as well as clinical psychologist. I've known her for a few years now. Saw her for a while as a therapist alone. She has only been doing the hypnosis for a year or so. She told me right off the bat that she does nothing other than help me relax and find that place where I can talk with my higher self. She's right. It's self-hypnosis with a little help.

The first time we worked on relaxation. A couple of times during that session I felt myself slip into that state, I think they call it theta. It was distinct and quickly noticed. Though it only lasted a second or two, I could feel the change. I have a hard time visualizing things, so her technique of relaxation hasn't really been working all that well. We've been through a few more sessions, the outcome the same as the first. I saw her today, however, and while not drastically different, I can say it was progress. I was immediately relaxed, as I usually am whenever I close my eyes. I slipped into that state for a couple brief seconds. Was sort of having trouble quieting the human mind, though still relaxed. (it might be well to note that for some reason when I close my eyes not only do I immediately relax, but I tend not to feel any emotion at all.) She started counting back from 20 very slowly. At about 15 she counted a little quicker. And like the rapid descent in numbers I could feel my consciouness rapidly moving toward that state. At about 10 I don't remember anymore counting. This time the experience only lasted a minute or so, but I can tell you it was wonderful. The feeling alone is undescribable in human terms. She later told me that she could tell that I was there. She didn't ask me any questions, she thought it best to just let me sit there for as long as I could. The only thought I remeber coming to me was that I MUST become more aware of what my higher self is saying to me on a regulare basis. An image came to mind as well. Remember, I don't visualize when my eyes close, I usually just see black. Right before I slipped back out of that state I saw a butterfly. It was black with orange, shapless marks on the wings. It wasn't important what was around the butterfly, but it was setting still, yet flapping it's wings.

I know this wasn't like a dream where you sometimes dream about things you may have done or seen recently. I don't know if I've ever even given any type of thought to a butterfly. The way it happened was odd as well. It was just as I was coming back, and I didn't even really think about it until I had come out of it. I'm not sure what it means. I think though, that interpreting what your higher self says to you is just as important as recognising it in the first place. The other thing is that I don't dream either. It's been a very long time since I had a dream.......years since. I know it's not jsut that I don't remember them, because there was a time where I was sort of conscious in my dreams. I knew I was dreaming. I knew my body was sleeping, and I had the choice to either continue dreaming, or wake up. But, nowadays when I sleep, it's just that. Deep, hard sleep. It has been helpful as far as rest goes, but I do kind of miss dreaming.

Anyway.......the world has now truly witnessed the rambling that goes on inside this crazy head of mine. I'm not psychotic, don't worry. Just maybe too aware of the thoughts and workings of my mind. Some days it's good, some days I wish it wasn't this way. All in all, I am greatful for it. It will lead me to the inevitable quicker. We're all destined to find the truth. There is only one truth, and I don't not claim to know it. There is now way I could know. I'm not sure how anybody else could either. I think, however, that it is my job to be aware and on the look out for it. Unless "God" comes to me and tells me all........I won't know until I leave the human form. I see people whom so firmly believe in what they think is right. And I just say to myself, "buddy you have no clue. If you think you're right and millions of others must be wrong, you're way off course.". I think it's my place to allow others to be that way, yet at the same time know that I know nothing other than awareness. There are millions of ideas out there, how can any one be right. All methods, I think, lead to the same place. AWARENESS. I'm done.......thank you world of the internet for allowing me to spew.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

How long is the road, really?

How long do we stay on this road called life? How many past lives have we lived in which we've traveled the same road? This question sparks a lot thought in my mind. I understand so much in this world, most of which I have not experience in this incarnation. I understand the minds of murderers, victims, rich, poor, old, young. I can see life from the perspective of many. There's no reason for it other than I may have lived lives in such situations. Have you ever been attracted to something, or interested in something, with no real explanation as to why? So many days I feel that way, so many days.

I feel, and have felt for a long time, that my days on this road will come to a close with this lifetime. I have one major struggle, one that puts all others possible aside. How to put aside the human mind, and live by the higher self. Since a kid I could always tell that there were two sides to my being, just didn't understand it. Neither did anybody else for that matter. Most things in life have never really made much sense to me, because I understand them so well. I've been told I was stupid because I did poorly in school. Only because I had no interest in it. I've been told that I have mental problems that can't be corrected. I've come to the conclusion that I don't function well in this world because I am not of this world. My sould does not resonate here. There are places better for me to experience my true being. It's funny though, the human will to "survive" is really strong. My soul wants to be free even more, though.

Take a look at your life more closely. Look for the deeper meaning, your truth. Where have you been, what have you seen? It's not for me to hear, it's for you to experience. You can learn more from looking inside than you could in any school, or from any professor with any amount of degrees. Life lessons cannot be learned in a classroom. A souls progression cannot be made by reading a book. Your spirits desire to be free cannot be subdued by medication. And I cannot be held down by any state of "normality". Take a look, and I'm sure you'll be surprised. How long is the road you've traveled? How long is it really?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

My mind wide open.......

(This image sort of explains how I feel.)

This is me pouring out what's in my mind. It has been another one of those days where you just wonder "what's the point?". I ask myself that question quite a bit. It's almost as if I "understand" things so well that nothing makes any sense. If you can grasp that. Have you ever repeated a word to yourself over and over until the word just souded really odd? Or maybe I'm the only weirdo that has done that. But, that's what it's like. I look around and see all these things, and I just don't get it. People starving when there's more than enough to go around. People being homeless when there are others living in 2 million square foot mansions. People dying from disease and illness when we're constantly working on medical miracles. I just don't get it. I understand that we're here to learn whatever we need to learn, but then there's the physical beauty of the universe. Trees, mountains, oceans, stars, moons, and planets. All so beautiful. Has my mind created all of these things to keep me stuck in the dream? I tend to believe so. But it's so hard to keep that in the forefront of my mind when my human body is so emotionally attatched to the universe around me. And if I have created this dream.....what does reality feel like? I say feel because i don't think we have sight in "reality". I don't think our minds can comprehend what we truly are. And if they can't, physical form is out of the question. I can't say only time will tell because I don't think time even exists. Only in awakening will we know reality. Each day that passes, and every question I ask leads me further in my awakening. Until that day I'll continue to keep in mind that things can only get better, and that nothing here can affect me the way my human mind would tell me. I guess that's only a piece of my mind wide open. There's more to come........

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Are all people real?

Does everyone one we see really exist? I mean, if we don't talk to them or hear there voice, is there really a soul in there? The reason I ask this question is because I'm just not sure what goes through some peoples heads. I see them and the things they do and I just wonder what type of thought process takes place before they make the dicision to do what they do, or think what they think. I'm inclined to think that most people don't have that little voice inside their head that some call a conscience. I myself call it my "true" self. I think some people may just hear white noise. Maybe some people on the inside really don't have a soul. Maybe you who reads this dosen't have a soul of your own. Maybe you're all created in my mind. Maybe nothing beyond my eyes really do exist. And maybe you're sitting there saying the same thing......then what? Who's real, and what's fake? Good question.............maybe one day the answers will magically appear, only inside the mind.