Monday, September 19, 2005

Mull Session

My eyes open, and within seconds I'm sitting up at the edge of the bed. Not yet quite awake, but no longer asleep. I light a cigarette and begin my daily mull session. Mull simply means to ponder, or think something through extensively. But it's not your averge way of thinking something throgh. No, this is something more. Something better. It's not exactly a voluntary action. It's not something that I set out to do within the 5 seconds after I wake up. It just happens. But this is the best type of pondering, if you will. It's a very serene and natural way to think things over. I sit complete with a blank stare. If you saw me you'd probably just think I'm still half asleep. These thoughts seem to come from nowhere. And are not necessarily about anything pertaining to recent events or those to come in the near future. I sometimes think of the oddest things, if there ever were such a thing. For the longest time this great event would take place, but I wouldn't pay too much attention to it. I would just let the thoughts run, and continue about my day. Most times continuing about it while it's going on. But that wouldn't be mulling, just thoughts running. Mulling is just the manner in which you let the thoughts come.

My most recent mull session was quite interesting. It dawned on me that there are millions of things in this world that I've never seen, yet I would swear to you that it does in fact exist. I've never been to New Zealand, and am not sure if I 've ever even seen pictures. So what would make me think that it's there? Never seen the Atlantic Ocean. How do I know it really exists? How do I know that these things are not all created by my mind to keep my in this illusory world? And all the things that I have seen and experienced, what about them? Do the only exist because I so willingly believe so? How am I even sure any person exists outside of myself?

I know that this is a very difficult subject to "mull over". It's hard to even put it down in print and have it come across the way that I want it to. It's very easy to stray from the original thought. Basically what I'm trying to say is that we don't really know that our eyes see anything. It's all in the mind. Even if the eyes did see things, it's the mind that interprets them. The only thing we truly see with is the mind. My mind has created color, shape, size. Words and pictures. Skyscrapers and meadows. But what law says that grass is green? Or is it merely an interpretation of the mind? People interpret things differently. Some see the glass as half empty, and some half full. You say poe-tay-toe, I say poe-tot-oh. I guess things probably aren't what they seem. How could they be when my world is different from yours? What created the idea of pain? Why can some tolerate more than others? Why can some eat hot foods while others can not? Somewhere along the line our mind had to give us these ideas.

This very concept is what makes a mull session what it is. It is you allowing, and being aware of, your minds creation. It is a very interesting thing. It's a form of meditation with your eyes wide open, in more ways than one. Think about all that your mind has created in your life that you were never aware of. Were you truly "aware" of what was taking place in your mind the first time you drank a cup of coffee? Or how about the first time you got a cold, or the flu? Are we ever truly aware of anything that our mind is interpreting for us? You can be when "mulling" something over.

This series of thoughts lead me to a concept that really threw me for a loop. Can a human being even handle mulling everything over? From eyes open to eyes shut, can person take understanding of everything it comes in contact within a day? Is the minds way of taking matters upon itself a blessing or a curse? Is it a defense mechanism, or a weapon of keeping us in the illusion? You've got me. Maybe I'll come to these answers in another session. Maybe not. But I sure would like to hear what others have to say on the subject. It's interesting and difficult. (five minutes have passed) The "it's interesting and difficult" observation that took place 5 minutes ago, I was not really "aware" of it. Maybe it isn't difficult at all. That's the mind taking over. Well, before I talk myself in circles, or bore myself to sleep, I'll leave this open to all who care to look. It's all yours............

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Questions and Answers

Here are a list of questions, provided by my friend Charles, that I have answered to the best of my ability. I think that it is important for us to ponder these types of things every now and again just to see where we're at. I'm sure these answers are different than they would have been 5 years ago, or will be 5 years from now. Times change, and so do our ideas. I just thought it would be an interesting thing to take a look at now and again. I'm the type that can't stand change. But no matter how hard I may fight it, it happens anyway. So here are my answers. Maybe we could see yours as well.

Q: How important is music in your life?
A: I enjoy listening to music, yet I could do without it. Sometimes I feel as if it keeps my mind in a bad place. Some of what I listen to is a bit negative. However, it's what I can relate to. It's an expression of blottled up anger released.

Q: What are your views on Time? Does it seem to be speeding up or slowing down?
A: At the present moment time "seems" to be at a stand-still. In my life, it's as if I were awaiting a jury to decide my fate, if you can imagine that. The only problem is, I'm the judge, jury, executioner, as well as defendant. Beyond this world I believe time does not even matter. So, what difference does it really make?

Q: How do you perceive Reality?
A: Reality is an illusion. If that isn't a paradox, I don't know what is. Now, if you look at it with duality in mind, neither really exist. If reality is an illusion, then what is the illusion? Is that the reality??

Q: Would you agree with the idea that You are the Creator of all your experiences?
A: Oh, most definitely. The only problem is that I have not yet been able to stay aware of that. Usually my human self takes over and creates my experience. Which, let me tell you, usually sucks. But what if you turn that around? What if your experiences create you? Somehow I think that's the way that it is supposed to work. Only through awareness of experience can we awaken.

Q: Do you pay much attention to your dreams?
A: That's not a very easy task. I rarely remember my dreams, though I know it happens. I am beginning, however, to wake up in the biggest dream of all. The one sometimes referred to as "reality".

Q: What makes you smile?
A: This list right here will be quite short. My son makes me smile most of the time. The thought of what's to come when I leave this place really makes me smile. Like I said, the list is short. Something I need to work on.

Q: What's the best dream you've had recently?
A: I honestly can't answer that question. Hopefully someday real soon I can.

Q: Have you ever had any experiences of an Angelic or Extraterrestrial kind?
A: I have had a few. Nothing really extraordinary. They've all been vague enough to make me wonder if it really happened, or if my mind was playing tricks on me. I do believe experiences of these kind do happen, I'm just not awake enough yet to experience them fully.

Q: Could all of this possibly be a grand Dream You are having right now?
A: The right question would be "Who's really having the dream, me or you?".

Q: What do you love to do?
A:I like to write down my thoughts. It helps me in the way that I can one day go back and look at where my mind was in the past. I also like to gamble. I'm not gonna have to get my house out of hoc or anything like that, I just enjoy the occasional wager. Hell, if I have to be here for a while I might as well enjoy some of it. I also like to read. I'm a good cook, therefore I love to eat. Learning is a love of mine as well.

Q: If you could meet anybody living or dead - who would it be & why?
A: I'm not really sure. As far as I'm concerned, in the grand scheme of things nobody is really that important. Everyone that I need to meet will cross my path at some point.

Q: Do you believe in Life after death?
A: First of all, I don't even know what death is. It would seem to me that if it's "Life" after death, would it really be death or just a rebirth? I believe that if we awaken while in human form we move onto what Reality actually is. If not we get a first class ticket back to try it again.

Q: Do you have a telepathic link with anyone?
A: I'm sure I do. I just have not yet been able to tap into that side of me.

Q: What would be your message to all of humanity?
A: No matter what you're faced with ask yourself one question. What difference does it "really" make?

Q: What are your views on Reincarnation?
A: Like I said, if we don't awaken we get to reincarnate to try again.

Q: Do You enjoy being You?
A: My human form? No, not really. Deep down I know that there is a better place for me to be. A place where my spirit will be free. And that side of me I appreciate very deeply. However, I can do what I need to do in this life to get to where I really want to be.

Q: If you could visit any place in the world or Universe - where would it be and why?
A: If I could go anywhere in the Universe it would be approximately 666 light years away from this hell hole.

Q: Do you do any form of meditation or yoga, or what do you do to relax?
I try meditation, but it's a difficult task for me. I am confident that with a bit of work I'll get it one day.

Q: What would you like to see more of in the world?
A: Truth. Whether it's illusion or not. I'd like to see more truth being told.

Q: Are You in love?
A: In love with what? I ask that question because I'm not really sure what that word means in the first place.

Q: What will You be remembered for?
A: I will be remembered for the many, many questions that I ask. But does it really matter?

Q: Jump in a time machine and see yourself in seven years' time - Where are you and what are you doing?
A: I'm living in a place surrounded by mountains. I'm writing books, learning, and teaching others. Seven years from now, just remember that my door is always open.

Q: What or who were you in a past life?
A: Does it really matter? Obviously I didn't awaken otherwise I wouldn't be here now.

Q: Finish the sentence, God is...?
A: .....probably not what you, I, or anyone else think or could ever imagine.

Q: Where is Home?
A: Beyond the limitations of the human form.

Q: If You could be a colour - what would You be?
A: Black. Yes, I know that black is an absence of color, but that is my final answer.

Q: What brings You Peace?
A: The feeling that this will be my last stay at the Earth Inn.

Q: If the people of Earth could send one message to our intergalactic neighbours, what would or should it be?
A: Stay at least 666 light years away from this place!! But first tell me how to get to where you are.

Q: What is your most recurring dream?
A: Every day I wake up, and I'm still here.

Q: If you could officially change your name to anything - what would it be?

Q: What was your role in Atlantis?
A: Does it really matter?

Q: If you could meet the 1999 version of yourself - what advice would you give?
A: Do not join the military. Let her go. Don't get married. Live as if every day were the last. Screw what everyone else thinks. You are worth something. Pain does eventually subside. It dosen't really matter!!